War

The following is something that was written by a former Marine that I used to work with. He is one of the nicest human beings I have ever met and had the pleasure of working with. He changed the way I felt about Marines and broke the stereotype. This man served in Vietnam and brought home with him his experiences, good and bad. He talked about the problems he used to have and what he did to make good with them. He turned his life around and counseled other soldiers who were experiencing the problems he had. He gave me this short paper he wrote and asked that I read it and pass it on to anyone else that I felt could benefit from it. So I am making it public here on my profile, and if you know of anyone that this can benefit, please feel free to pass it on.

War
WAR IS AN UGLY THING!
It strips us of our dignity. It steals our youth. It blinds our faith. But most of all, it's what it makes us become.
One can argue that war is an honorable thing. Something to hold unto yourself to be proud of. However, the concept of fighting for the country becomes secondary to fighting for one's beliefs. Even this is questioned at times, and when this occurs, the person changes,
When the question of "why" creeps into the minds of soldiers, not only will the complexion of war change, but more importantly, the individual. He no longer has the pride, the professionalism, the integrity, or the reason to continue. He then questions himself. He quickly becomes a robot going through the motions and living on adrenaline. The "high" that is incomparable to any drug, but is more addictive. The rush of pitting one's self against another where death is the consequence of failure, becomes an event greatly anticipated.
This creates an irony that can seldom be explained, but is understood by the many who have been placed in this situation. To receive the "high" the soldier only has to kill, but at what cost? This individual will forget, or lose, what he once was. He will be forced to commit acts against humanity that many cannot fathom, let alone understand. Now the soldier has a different war to fight. One that is relentless.
WAR IS AN UGLY THING, BUT NOT THE UGLIEST OF THINGS!
From this point of view, war isn't relegated to the battlefields, but rather something that is carried on long after the physical fighting has concluded. This "secondary war" is often more damaging and more destructive. Not to property or personnel, but to the individual.
How do you replace the "high?" How do you change the loss of self-respect? How do you change the perception of having done wrong?
The individual is now worthless! The individual has no intrinsic value, nothing to offer. After all—"He's a very bad person." He now believes the nightmares are his penance, his "Ghosts," destined to remain with him through eternity. Ironically, unless the individual is willing to begin another war and draw a line in the sand—this is true!
The individual who attempts to change will fail! There is no need to change who you are, but rather get in touch with that other person again. We all are basically good, and only when that is realized, do we begin to replace the negative feelings with something more positive.
How do you do this? Let's mention from the start that working on yourself is an "ass kicker!" Now matter how little self-respect the individual believes he has, there is always some. Let's also mention that this individual will not begin this process until he feels he has hit bottom—contemplating suicide, etc.
The one tangible in all of this is self-esteem. We all crave it, and this is the basis for becoming the person we want to be. It may be that it takes someone outside the individual's world to see the problems. It may be that the individual himself sees what's wrong and can take steps necessary to get his life back on track. This is rare, and would take an unbelievable strong individual indeed. Whatever the circumstance, there is always a way out. It is not an embarrassment to ask for help, but the individual who is fighting the war sees this as another lost battle, thereby lowering his self-esteem even more.
This is where the war changes. People's paths cross for a reason. Wars are traumatic, whether they are fought with guns or in every day life. From the individual's perspective, spousal abuse, child abuse, natural disaster survivor, etc., are just as bad as any international war. Each creates what is now referred to as "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" (PTSD). There will always be someone who fought the same war you are fighting. This individual will not only be able to sympathize with you, but empathize as well.
Each individual must find a way to exorcise the "Ghosts." To what extent, is an individual thing, which depends entirely upon the severity of the PTSD. One this is certain, all "Ghosts" must be confronted and dealt with. If it is a wrong that was done to someone, an attempt must be made to correct the wrong. It must also be noted that not all attempts will be successful. However, the attempt is the important issue. Each attempt will continue to build self-esteem and self-respect.
There will be "Ghosts" that can never be exorcised. There will never be a way to make restitution. At this point, the individual must find a way to make peace within himself. This could be something as small as saying a prayer, to planting a tree, or actually talking to the "Ghosts." The point is: What works for one individual may not work for another, but there will always be something that will work for everyone.
Please understand that the "Ghosts" will always be with you, and that's good, because the "Ghosts" are what will keep you from making the same mistake(s) again. As unbelievable as it may sound, having the "Ghosts" around becomes a very real and tangible source of strength that no one but you possesses.